This year, fall off the horse without falling apart

As the year comes to a close, reflection seems to arrive naturally. We look back at what we set out to do. We take stock of what actually happened. And without fail, many of us start quietly forming intentions for the year ahead.

We also know the classic New Year’s story where resolutions start strong and fizzle fast. 

I’d like to offer something for your consideration. 

How do you treat yourself the first time you fall off the horse?

Last time you made a commitment and started to falter, what story did you tell yourself?

Did you meet that moment with compassion and simply get back on track?

Or were you hard on yourself? Did the inner critic show up fast and loud? Did shame creep in and convince you that slipping meant failing altogether?

A big part of the work we do is learning how to meet our “failures” with compassion. Not as excuses. Not as bypassing responsibility. But as an honest recognition of our humanness.

Jim Dethmer shares a metaphor we love. Imagine a plane committed to flying to Paris. Over the course of the flight, it will drift off course many times. Sometimes toward Portugal. Sometimes somewhere else entirely. But each time it drifts, the pilot simply corrects the heading back toward Paris. And eventually, the plane arrives.

Commitment works the same way. It is not about perfection. It is about returning, again and again, to what matters.

Jim also offers another powerful lens. If we want to know what we are truly committed to, we can look at our results. Not our intentions. Not our promises to ourselves. But our actual outcomes.

So here is a simple invitation as you close out the year:

Look at your results.

How are they different from what you said you were committed to at the beginning of the year?

And as you notice any gaps, see if you can meet that awareness with compassion and curiosity rather than blame or justification. It is simply information.

And if you do notice a gap between what you said you wanted and what you actually created this year, I happen to know a group of people who help leaders bring those two things back into alignment.

At The Leader’s Edge, our work rests on three pillars: self-awareness, radical responsibility, and integrity.

Here is what that can look like in real life.

It might look like a department manager who is exhausted from carrying everything alone, beginning to notice how often they default to control instead of trust. Together, we slow things down enough for them to see that pattern clearly, without judgment. That is self-awareness.

It might look like a business owner who has been frustrated with their team for months, starting to see how unclear expectations and unspoken resentment have been quietly shaping the culture. Instead of blaming, they begin to take responsibility for what they are creating and what they are tolerating. That is radical responsibility.

It might look like a leadership team that says they value openness, but avoids the conversations that actually require courage. Over time, they learn how to tell the truth with care. They align what they say matters with how they actually show up in meetings, in conflict, and in decision-making. That is integrity.

In practice, this work often sounds simple. Slower conversations. Clearer commitments. Cleaner communication. Fewer assumptions. More ownership. But the impact is anything but small.

Leaders begin to feel less alone.

Teams start to share responsibility instead of silently competing or blaming.

Decisions become clearer and steadier.

Energy that used to leak into tension, gossip, and overwhelm comes back into focus.

People remember why they cared about the work in the first place.

And perhaps most importantly, leaders learn how to fall off the horse without falling apart. They learn how to correct course without shame. They learn how to stay committed to what matters over the long arc of a year, a career, and a life.

As you reflect on this past year and look ahead to the next one, you do not need a perfect track record to move forward with integrity.

You only need honesty, compassion, and a willingness to realign.

And if this feels like the year you want to stop doing it alone, you know where to find us.

At The Leader’s Edge, that is the work.