Part 1: No one taught us how to lead
A story about burnout, growth, and the hidden cost of promoting without support.
A couple of months ago, I started working with a department manager who was burning out. Big time.
On our first call, he told me he couldn’t keep this pace up much longer. There just weren’t enough hours in the day for him or his team to meet expectations. He was skipping coffee breaks, missing lunch, and pushing through exhaustion just to stay afloat.
He’s been with his company for over 20 years. When I asked how he became a manager, he said, “They just gave me the job. No training. I was expected to figure it out.”
Working with a coach is the first real support he’d ever received as a leader. And let me tell you, it has been an inspiration and a pleasure to be on this journey with him.
When we began, he was carrying everything on his shoulders. Now, he’s learning to share ownership and accountability across his team, creating space for others to step up. He’s becoming more aware of his emotional triggers, catching himself when stress takes over and shifting back into curiosity and calm.
He’s taking breaks again. Leaving work on time.
He’s building new habits around reflection, journaling, and breathwork to stay grounded through the day.
And perhaps most importantly, he’s bringing more openness and honesty into his communication, creating space for real dialogue, shared problem-solving, and mutual support.
We even started a book club with The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership as a guide, exploring what it looks like to lead with greater awareness, integrity, and presence in everyday situations.
Just three months later, his HR leader described the growth she witnessed as going from a “-1 to an 11” on a scale of 1 to 10. That’s not an exaggeration.
And here’s the thing: his story isn’t unique.
Most new managers are promoted without any real training or support. They’re expected to just figure it out, and often, that leads straight to burnout.
As Brené Brown writes in her latest book, Strong Ground, “Leaders are the only high-performing professionals who are expected to do their work without coaches. Can you imagine supporting a sports team or an athlete who has no access to coaching?”
She points out that individuals who receive coaching report up to 80% improvement in areas like self-confidence, interpersonal skills, job performance, and management effectiveness.
If you’re a business owner thinking about promoting someone into a leadership role, this is something worth paying attention to. Because this problem is everywhere and it’s costing good people their energy, confidence, and joy at work.
In my next post, we’ll look at the bigger picture: the data behind why so many leaders are struggling, and what can be done to change it.
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